The Real McCoy

What does it really mean to be authentic? Most of us marched through our education like aunts on parade, rarely entertaining the thought of being out of step. Like most small suburbs, where I came from, challenging the status quo was atypical. Besides the handful of, for lack of a better term, "rebels," mostly everyone continued marching two by two in the same path. In an upbringing so socially structured, it's more challenging to march to the beat of your own drum, per se. Let's face it, insecurity, fear, desire, and acceptance equal one easily influenced ant. We spent the greater part of our formative years coloring in the lines and thinking within that darn box. And then, like a captive bird, we are set free into the complete unknown to spread our wings. Suddenly, the life of fitting in means you are the same as the person next to you. And frankly, this world has enough ants to ruin a perfect picnic. Instantaneously, it's no longer about fitting in, it's about standing out. Seems like a waste of prep time if you ask me.

And now, a quarter century old, with very little taste of this "real world" my parents always referenced, I can confidently get comfortable outside of those lines. I don't blame the system. And I have high respect for those that stay within it. However, to be perfectly authentic, I much rather create my life outside of that darn box. (even if sometimes I have to drag my better half with me).

Yesterday's face-to-face interaction was sold in exchange for today's Mac-to-Mac interaction (no judgement PC users). Our authenticity often lies within a new box-our computers. Effortlessly, we can convince our family, our best friends, the people we haven't talked to since high school, and even ourselves of anything we can fit into those 140 characters. It's so simple to be inauthentic today. That insecure lost ant can jump right in line and march up the social media hill with the rest of them without a thought of his own.

So then what? We convince everyone who is bored enough to read our updates about the fabulous cars we drive, how great our home is, or the amazing new bag we just purchased. Somehow I can't help but think this action is desperately seeking a big pat on the back "Hurrah!" reaction from our 347 friends. The point is, it really makes no difference whether your ex boyfriend knows about the mindless shopping spree you went on compliments of your new fabulous husband. Is that really you anyway? Anyone can be seemingly authentic via social media abuse. But forget the facebook, take away the tweets, bury the blogs, and what do you have left? We have ourselves- and are we convinced? Those that know us deeper than our "walls" can spot inauthenticity faster than we can click update. If you're truly happy, (or any other sentiment), there is no need to convince anyone of it; they just know.

Outside of the tweets, replies, and updates, are you genuinely authentic? Or are you misrepresenting you. We all can paint a perfect picture and claim it as real as long as no one dares to venture outside of that addicting box. It is much more fulfilling to be a real person than a http address. So march two-by-two in any path, to any beat, (DMB or not). March with those that really know you and maybe then you'll finally get that "Hurrah!" you've been seeking.

Fall favorites

I'll admit, I am falling for fall. Ok, that was lame, but unquestionably I have a much stronger admiration for this beautiful time of year now that I am no longer stuck in a class room. That unsettling feeling that always accompanied the crispness of the air has now hitched a ride on that cool fall breeze. I love the refreshing nights, the light jacket days, and all the other colorful undertones that tag along with this inevitable transition of seasons. 

The chill in the air always is partnered with the upcoming of the holidays. Though, I never favored halloween as a child, I know undoubtedly, it is ranked a close second to Christmas for many little ones. What could be better than choosing to become anyone you can imagine followed by a lump sum of sugar? Apart from the notion that I was not a candy bar kid, I remember almost being stressed over the decision of what to dress as, then worrying I won't fit the roll just right. 

Consequently, as I age, I realize every day mirrors this childish favorite. As kids, we settle on an idea, dress in a disguise, and go out to ask for what makes us the happiest. As adults, the process is comparable, but habitually life long. We play the roles we have chosen as husbands, wives, doctors, teachers. Effortlessly, we settle into these positions letting them define us. What we portray can be misleading- made of plastic and makeup. Suddenly we are immune to the ghosts and goblins on the outside. So easily wrapped up in a role that can result in stress and indecisiveness sometimes the result is an unfavorable character- even we can forget what is underneath. We do what fits the bill of the lion and the wife, in a new wardrobe. It's easy to forget to remove our masks when the day is done. Among the chaos of succumbing to all the various titles that make up one another, there is one that is indefinable. One that no one else can emulate. When the tricks have been played, the treats have lost their luster, and the disguise has been packed away, bare truth is all that is left. When asked, "Trick or treat?" The answer is always treat. Revealing that bare truth is the trick. 

Halloween is a holiday filled with fun and fear. If we stay behind the masks, we can face the fear as someone or something else. We are buffered by the act, and unfortunately so is everything else we encompass. We are adults, and teachers, and lawyers, and mothers, and husbands and wives. While those are untouchable accomplishments, we were all once something else before we slipped into those roles. It is effortless to become unrecognizable, even to ourselves. Pick the trick, brave the ghosts, reveal yourself, and show that indefinable quality. Hopefully what's behind the mask is the same as what we portray on the outside. 

A favorite of mine- a close friend has always had these enlightening words to share. "If personality resulted in looks, think, would you still be beautiful?" 

Soak up those fall favorites everyone and clank glasses with some spiked apple cider.