25 and 7.

So, here I am. Another year under the belt. This past year was filled with the most change one person can expect at my age. New house, new job, new husband, new life. I can remember being young and thinking about what my life would be like at 25. At that age, 25 seemed so foreign. So old. And definitely, so adult.  I remember listening to my parents talk about people that are now my age. They would finish the conversation with "he's a good kid." I recall thinking, how completely absurd that was calling such an established person a "kid." Point is, they were right. I still feel like a kid. In fact, I'm wondering if this transformation into adulthood will ever match the vision I had of fitting that mold. 

Twenty five years and what have I learned? I've learned to become a "we." As such an independent character, this was an adjustment for me. I've learned there is no stigma attached to, "you're turning into your mother." I would be so lucky. I've learned patience. I no longer live in such an accessible world of want and need. The things we want turn into things we need (i.e my husband hurling our dishwasher on the deck after the button malfunctioned in which he justifies as a "hulk smash" moment.) Suddenly, "we" need a new dishwasher and "we" don't really need that amazing pair of Christian Louboutins. I've learned things will always break, explode, or be simply absent, making those goals of want farther and farther away. I've learned I should have listened to the little guy (my dad) and maybe not chosen such an expensive school. That 19 year old  impulsive thought process now effects my everyday. I've learned this house will never really be done until I replace everything in it, and even then it may not feel like home. I've learned I chose a school, a major, and path, that now I am not willing to go down. I'm sure it is possible for others, but there is no way I knew what I wanted to do at that age. I take that back. There is no way I knew what I was capable of doing at that age. 

I've learned most importantly, all great things come with an exception of sorts. Being a "we" is wonderful and I wouldn't change a thing about the person I've decided to create this life with. (ok, so maybe a a few bad habits here and there, no one's a saint). If I hadn't chosen the high priced school I may not have two of the most genuine friends a person could ever be lucky enough to meet. They exceed my loan payment by miles.  The unfavorable major I had chosen allows me to work in a field with my better half. Otherwise, among his 3 jobs (to pay our loans- are you seeing the viscous circle here?), I don't think we'd ever see one another. And now, at this quarter of a century, I am optimistic and feel this year is going to surpass my expectations. 

When we're little, we are asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  I can remember even then, I had no answer to such a loaded question. So, after 25 years and 7 days, I  finally feel confident in answering. I want to be inspired. Now I guess I spend the next 25 figuring out how to do that.

Correction. We spend the next 25 years figuring out how to do that.